Jan 31, 2008
Hey Facebook, I know i'm single.
You don't have to fucking remind me with advertisements all over the place to meet local women or chat with hot singles now! I came to facebook to do one thing, and that's play some scrabble and chew bubble gum. But I'm all out of gum. Actually I have a ton of gum that I never chew, but whatever. Duke Nukem STILL rules.
Posted by Mark at 6:12 PM in Bitching | Link
Jan 31, 2008
Fauxsama Bin Laden
Colombia can't even afford to bill the real terrorist, they have to hire a look-a-like. Reuters reports, Fernando Aguirre, who claims to be the son of al Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden, patrols the most dangerous slums of Bogota and lives from the contributions received from those seeking his protection. Aguirre informs police on petty crimes being committed and is a ...
Posted by Ferry at 11:25 AM in Insane, Politics | Link
Jan 29, 2008
Russia Brings Sexy Back To Military Uniforms
It looks as though the Russian Army has recently redesigned some of their uniforms. All I can say is, if the average Russian Army recruit looks anything like this, I'm looking forward to Cold War 2: Electric Boogaloo.
Posted by Ferry at 6:13 PM in Awesome | Link
Jan 29, 2008
Introducing: Gyro's Venture Into Software
Introducing a brand new venture for the folks over at Gyro Worldwide--graphics software packages! Yes, folks, now you too can now make pretty pretty rainbows like the most seasoned graphic designers! With Rainbowshop Deluxe, you have the full feature set offered in many competing graphics programs, plus the added benefits of our patented Color Optimization & Efficienc ...
Posted by Ferry at 2:28 PM in Awesome, Geekery, Advertising | Link
Jan 28, 2008
Happy 50th, Lego Brick!
Yup, today is the Lego Brick's 50th Birthday. Legos are awesome, and were my favorite toy growing up. I found the Lego Escher Image here. I would really love to go to LegoLand. Anyone want to send me there? Check out this Lego Animation, complete with ultra nerdy star wars legos: I also just discovered this entire site dedicated to Lego Animations. Wild.
Posted by Haveboard at 1:34 PM in Awesome, Geekery | Link
Jan 28, 2008
Commenting...
You can now comment on individual posts by clicking the link at the bottom that says "Post a Comment". You'll need to put your name, email and a message in and then submit it. All comments are subject to approval before being allowed due to spam. So have fun and comment away bitches.
Posted by Mark at 12:46 PM in Giraffe | Link
Jan 28, 2008
Who Needs An iPhone?
The folks over at Chocolate Design Agency have put together an incredibly slick looking cell phone concept that puts your shiny new iPhone to shame. Were it more than a concept, the "P-Per" would be a completely e-paper coated device whose entire surface would be interactive and work as the display. Check out the video and drool-inducing pictures below.
Posted by Ferry at 10:23 AM in Awesome, Geekery, Advertising | Link
Jan 26, 2008
John Fucking Rambo
Ok, so I went to see Rambo and there is a bunch of shitty acting in it. Especially from Rita, the girlfriend of Dexter, but Stallone barely talks in the entire movie, and the things that he does say are awesome. Throughout the movie the actions make up for the shitty dialog and the lack of dialog from Rambo. This is probably the most brutal Rambo movie yet. Withou ...
Posted by Mark at 8:20 PM in Awesome, Insane, Cinema | Link
Jan 26, 2008
Big Boy Photoshop Work
Continuing his downward emotional spiral, Donnie learns us all on the proper way to remove an object from its background in Photoshop, using the layer mask tool. The object, in his case, being his Ring of Infinite Sorrows. Be sure to check out my previous post, with links to the first 3 episodes.
Posted by Ferry at 5:09 PM in Awesome, Videos, Geekery | Link
Jan 25, 2008
Forget about Heath Ledger, THEY WANT TO EAT DUSTI!
Apparently eating the remains of one of our fallen soldiers has been suggested, and I am NOT psyched. This madness has got to stop! Get the kids giraffe toys, so when they grow up, they'd never even think about eating a giraffe! You wouldn't eat Heath Ledger, would you?
Posted by Haveboard at 10:06 AM in Giraffe, Bitching, Nom Nom Nom, Insane | Link
Jan 24, 2008
Dear Vineland, FUCK Toys R Us
Corporate policy at Toys 'R Us 'barred loaning out the giraffe' for the annual Giraffe Heroes Award ceremony. We'd LOVE to be your 'revered guest' this year.
Posted by Haveboard at 12:39 PM in Giraffe, Bitching, Politics | Link
Jan 24, 2008
Birdfeeder PWNED by Hotlinking
Our friends over at the birdfeeder are getting a lesson in hotlinking, today.
Posted by Haveboard at 11:18 AM in Geekery | Link
Jan 23, 2008
For The Love of God, Apple
Stop with the ~50mb iTunes/QuickTime updates, every other damned week!
Posted by Ferry at 10:20 AM in Bitching, Geekery | Link
Jan 23, 2008
Pinwheeling? Some Call It A Marble
Tired of waiting for your computer to finish up something and need something to do in the meantime? As soon as you see that colorful ball spinning, head on over to marbleofdoom.com and log your hours.
Posted by Haveboard at 10:11 AM in Awesome, Bitching, Geekery | Link
Jan 22, 2008
In Other Giraffe news...
R.I.P. Sure, it was the PULLEY SYSTEM! Suicide? Image that talks Team Giraffe got their first win of the season when they returned from Newside with a 3-2 success over RAN. Giraffe Money? Even Giraffe-a-licious is upset about Heath. Sorry, we told you so. A Special Short-Necked Giraffe. WHAT? For the ladies, a Giraffe Print Bag.
Posted by Haveboard at 12:00 AM in Awesome, Giraffe, Videos, Games, Geekery, Insane | Link
Jan 22, 2008
Crazy Naked Lady in Newark, NJ
One day, Mark, Ferry and myself were eating at Wendy's, when some random lady walked in, butt-ass-naked and freaked everyone out and ordered a water...with confidence. Today, Popills sent me some footage he captured in Newark, NJ. Maybe it is the same lady. Who knows?
Posted by Haveboard at 5:57 PM in Awesome, Videos, Insane | Link
Jan 22, 2008
Who Let The Dogs Out?
Mitt Romney. Yesterday (MLK Day), Mitt wanted to meet with a "group of black youngsters" to let everyone know that he's in no way a white-bred, out-of-touch, old man. I think I'll stop talking and let this video show you all you need to know about this presidential hopeful.
Posted by Ferry at 12:54 PM in Politics | Link
Jan 22, 2008
LAPD's Newest Recruit
It's not very nice and I should be ashamed of myself for laughing so hard, but Retarded Policeman is a series of shorts that delivers exactly what you would expect--the antics of what might happen if there was a mentally handicapped police officer. Offenses range being pulled over to say hi to being black. Episode one is embedded below. Be sure to check out two, three ...
Posted by Ferry at 10:39 AM in Awesome, Videos | Link
Jan 21, 2008
Reporting on the Future: Heath Ledger
I'm sorry Heath Ledger, but your days are numbered. That Lucky Spray isn't going to help you this time around. Tomorrow is a bad day for the new joker. I'm sorry to break the news to everyone about this tragedy through a blog post but, hey, this is the future. This is a post about the future. It will be all over the news tomorrow, I swear.
Posted by Haveboard at 5:31 PM in Insane, Future | Link
Jan 21, 2008
Dear Reader, a Harry Potter parody
If you haven't seen this cinematic masterpiece I suggest you watch ALL of the movies below. I've put them in order for you so you don't have to go through YouTube and find them in order(because they are out of order in the related section). I sat and watched these all in order and I couldn't stop laughing the entire time. Major props to Brad Neely for doing this. ...
Posted by Mark at 8:23 PM in Awesome, Videos, Cinema | Link
Jan 21, 2008
I Think the Audience Will Agree With Me there! Re: At&T
AT&T sponsores a show called: Hugh Thompson Show. The decide to Interview BoingBoing's Joel Johnson. Joel Johnson begins the interview by asking the host and audience what their opinion of AT&T's plans to start filtering the internet is. The audience was not in favor of AT&T all up in their business. The interview had to be re-recorded, as the crew stopped th ...
Posted by Haveboard at 12:43 PM in Awesome, Videos, Bitching, Geekery, Insane | Link
Jan 21, 2008
Wu Tang Clan Ain't Nuthin' To Fuck With!
Check out some stuff about the Wu Tang Show in Philly last week. Complete with Youtube Videos, Crappy Audio, and Photos!
Posted by Haveboard at 12:07 PM in Awesome, Tunes, Videos | Link
Jan 21, 2008
That's No Moon, That's IE7
In a move that's both good and bad, it looks as if Microsoft will be rolling out (forcing) IE7 as a Windows Server Update Services, even if not previously requested. According to Microsoft, the decision was made due to "security concerns." Does this mean the end of IE6-centric CSS files? One can only hope.
Posted by Ferry at 9:29 AM in Geekery | Link
Jan 21, 2008
Tom Cruise is totally insane pt 2
If you haven't seen the video clips yet, watch them here. The video below is a spoof done on the Late Late Show, it's not as long as the original video but it's still awesome nonetheless. Enjoy!
Posted by Mark at 9:15 AM in Videos, Insane | Link
Jan 20, 2008
Cloverfield Owes Me a Movie
I'll try to keep this post as spoiler-free as possible, but believe me when I tell you there's not much to spoil. As I'm sure you have heard, Cloverfield is a new monster movie set in NYC that has had the internet hype machine redlining, these past few months. The "plot" of Cloverfield is centered around a bunch of hipsters who are throwing a going away party for a ...
Posted by Ferry at 12:31 PM in Bitching, Cinema | Link
Jan 18, 2008
You Suck At Photoshop
Donnie Hoyle presents Photoshop lessons with a rather unique twist. Get a glimpse into his tortured life as well as a tutorial on the clone stamp tool in this episode. This is volume 3 of an ongoing series. Check out episodes one and two on YouTube.
Posted by Ferry at 11:24 PM in Awesome, Videos, Geekery | Link
Jan 18, 2008
Worst. Catchphrase. Ever.
You are not Comic Book Guy. His famous catchphrase of "worst.(noun).ever." is occasionally appropriate, but when it is applied frequently and with multiple different conjugations, it becomes played out. Please. Stop. Doing. This. Thank you. /rant
Posted by Haveboard at 12:02 PM in Bitching, Geekery, Insane | Link
Jan 18, 2008
Make Your Own Anime Porn
For reasons that escape me, Gaiastore is now offering a tentacle sleeve that you slip your human-like arm into and become part squid. I'm pretty sure the target audience for this product is a group of people I never want to meet. $15 and you'll be able to creep out your family and loved ones.
Posted by Ferry at 11:58 AM in Awesome, Geekery | Link
Jan 17, 2008
beatbearings are sweet!
This thing is awesome. I want one!
Posted by Haveboard at 6:55 PM in Awesome, Tunes, Geekery | Link
Jan 17, 2008
Mark Is Tied Up And Gagged In A Basement Somewhere
I walked into work this morning and greeted what I thought to be my co-worker, Mark, on another typical work day. Only to soon realize that the man sitting mere feet from me was in fact an impostor -- an evil one at that! How do I know he's evil, you ask? Facial hair! A goatee, to be precise. The cornerstone of all evil twin television show plots! Draped in all bla ...
Posted by Ferry at 3:00 PM in Awesome | Link
Jan 17, 2008
Jim Butcher Readies Novella Set In Dresden Universe
Being the complete and total nerd that I am, I just dropped $45 on a limited-edition novella, Backup, written by Jim Butcher. If you're as addicted to the world of Harry Dresden, as I am, you'll certainly need no more incentive from me to pick up this latest release. For those of you who may not be familiar with the Dresden Files universe, here's a snippet about Ba ...
Posted by Ferry at 12:16 PM in Geekery | Link
Jan 17, 2008
Hasbro is Dumb, but maybe there is help for Mark, after all
Hasbro is trying to get Scrabulous shut down, as apposed to the smart thing it should do: BUY THE APPLICATION! Seriously, even though Mark has a problem, and may need intervention, Hasbro doesn't even realize the potential for this app to sell more ACTUAL BOARD GAMES. I admittedly have played ACTUAL SCRABBLE on a board, since I've started playing Scrabulous on fac ...
Posted by Haveboard at 11:49 AM in Bitching, Games | Link
Jan 17, 2008
Cold Enough For You?
The New York Times reports that you no longer have the excuse of "it's too cold out to do anything". Take off your panties and go do something. Otherwise, winter will turn you into a fat ass. Yea, I said it. Don't be scared.
Posted by Haveboard at 11:33 AM in Bitching | Link
Jan 17, 2008
Sun buys MySQL AB
For those of you not into the website geekery this means that the people who make Java bought the free open source database software company that makes the MySQL Database. News taken from here. It seems that Sun has bought the popular database software for $1 Billion, this can either be good or bad. Here are my thoughts: 1. Putting $1 billion behind the M in "LA ...
Posted by Mark at 10:31 AM in Geekery | Link
Jan 17, 2008
Witnessed A Murder On My Way Home Last Night
As we were stopping at one of the bus stops, a girl in the back started screaming. I looked back and saw her pointing out the window, and I glanced out the window. Out in an unfenced culdesac were three guys--two of them standing. One of them was on the ground. The taller of the two men had a baseball bat and was about ready to smash it into his head, when they realiz ...
Posted by Ferry at 9:39 AM in Insane | Link
Jan 16, 2008
Cravings
I drove all the way back to my old neighborhood tonight after work to get some gas since it's only $2.99 there, everywhere I live now it's like $3.20 so I said fuck that. While I was pumping gas I looked across the street and saw the Arbys thats there and immediately above my head floated an Arbys logo just like in the commercials. So I had to have it, but those fucke ...
Posted by Mark at 9:39 PM in Awesome, Nom Nom Nom | Link
Jan 16, 2008
Mark May Have A Problem
We're not here to judge, Mark. We're here to help.
Posted by Ferry at 5:29 PM in Awesome | Link
Jan 16, 2008
Advertising Gets All Post-Modern
Cross-promotion between two related products is nothing new and is often a decent way to hock two things for the price of one. But this new trailer for Fox's Jumper (which involves a teleporting Hayden "Teenage Angst" Christensen) goes above and beyond cross-promotion and enters a weird meta-space of advertising. Out of nowhere and without shame, in the middle of a ...
Posted by Ferry at 1:26 PM in Videos, Advertising | Link
Jan 16, 2008
Bigler - Where Brooklyn At?
Thanks to Plastic Little for putting this on Myspace. Hilarious! Hitler footage edited to Biggie! On YouTube! Oh Yea, and if you are in Philly, PL is playing tonight at Silk City: PHIL MOORE BROWNE PLASTIC LITTLE BIG DIGITS SILK CITY 5TH AND SPRING GARDEN 5$ 9:30PM sharp!
Posted by Haveboard at 12:56 PM in Videos | Link
Jan 16, 2008
Tom Cruise Is Totally Sane
Not to mention incredibly humble about himself and his affiliation with Scientology. Don't believe me? From his own mouth: When you're a Scientologist, and you drive by an accident, you know you have to do something about it, because you know you're the only one who can really help. We are the authorities on getting people off drugs. We are the authorities on the ...
Posted by Ferry at 11:19 AM in Videos, Insane | Link
Jan 15, 2008
Ship Your Laptop in an ENVELOPE!
Apple is introducing a new laptop today (among other things) and showcasing how thin it is, by showing that it can fit inside an envelope. I wonder how soon it will be until someone SENDS their laptop IN an envelope, and try to file a damage claim with the shipper.
Posted by Haveboard at 1:32 PM in Geekery | Link
Jan 15, 2008
Email Etiquette
The Hot Crew wrote about email pet peeves, and I'm reposting, just to vent. If there is a multi-person email conversation going on, PLEASE DO NOT CHANGE THE SUBJECT LINE OF THE EMAIL! Yes, all caps. I'm serious. Your email and input is no more important that the next persons, so why would you reply to the same people about the same topic WITH A DIFFERENT SUBJECT. ...
Posted by Haveboard at 1:11 PM in Bitching | Link
Jan 14, 2008
You Just Killed a Helicopter With a Car
So, I finally saw Live Free or Die Hard, aka Die Hard 4.0. The Mac Guy is the hacker that John McClane is escorting to DC when all hell breaks loose. It has all the awesome cheesiness that comes along with movies that have a lot to do with computers, the internet, and hackers. They refer to being online as "being on the GRID" and with lines like "You Just Killed a H ...
Posted by Haveboard at 10:57 AM in Awesome | Link
Jan 11, 2008
Kill Time Before It Kills You
So it turns out that time may not really exist. Which is awesome, because that means I'm never actually late to all the social engagements that friends wait impatiently for me at.
Posted by Ferry at 11:40 AM in Geekery | Link
Jan 10, 2008
Facebook Scrabulous
Scrabulous is probably the most addicting game online right now. Real scrabble was never this fun when I played it years ago, I don't know why but mixing board games with the internet and having an office full of people has somehow made it that much better. Good thing about this game is that they can take a long time while you're doing other work and you can close ...
Posted by Mark at 4:58 PM in Games | Link
Jan 10, 2008
Operation 'Change for the Better'
"Now that President Bush has declared martial law, it will be illegal to own precious metals after the first of the year. Here's a sneak peek at the new money from BlimpTV.net."
Posted by Haveboard at 3:55 PM in Videos | Link
Jan 10, 2008
One beer + a giant burrito...
Why is it that you can't drink one beer without getting sleepy? Add a huge burrito to that beer and you're even more sleepy, and you're also really full so even if you wanted to drink more beer to make you not sleepy anymore, you couldn't because there's no room in your stomach!
Posted by Mark at 2:51 PM in Bitching | Link
Jan 10, 2008
live blogging to avoid street surveyors
I just dodged a street surveyor by asking him if he was "live blogging" and he was clueless as to what I was talking about. It ruled. The look on his face was priceless. Oh yea, and I'm live blogging about this right now from my blackberry! What?!
Posted by Haveboard at 2:43 PM in Awesome | Link
Jan 10, 2008
A Random Aquantance Has Sent You a GIF Image!
Srsly, Facebook? What's the deal with all these random "gifts" that people can send to each other? This is the internet. Images aren't a scarce resource. I could easily take a photo of a beer and send it to all my friends without using your absurd little system. Better yet, I could buy a real drink for people I actually see enough to warrant one. Get a voucher system ...
Posted by Ferry at 12:21 PM in Bitching, Drinking | Link
Jan 10, 2008
This morning after I got out of the shower....
I almost accidentally put my jeans on backwards, just like Kriss Kross did back in the early nineties. I then laughed at myself, and realized I might be late for work. Then I remember their other classic: "I Missed the Bus"! Yea, I'm totally posting about Kriss Kross. I'm even embedding thier classic video, "Jump". ...
Posted by Haveboard at 10:40 AM in Tunes | Link
Jan 09, 2008
Party Theme Proposal: Novocaine
Yes that's right, a Novocaine party. After going to the dentist and her telling me that the novocaine lasts so long because she "uses the good shit", Ferry and I had a discussion at lunch. It was about how insane it would be to steal some novocaine and inject it into our feet and have races. Finn proposed that he would inject it into his hands and live blog what was h ...
Posted by Mark at 2:52 PM in Awesome | Link
Jan 09, 2008
Whose Lunch Is This Anyway?
The first ever lunch tally on The Giraffe, and Mark is the big winner today--stealing a close victory over myself. It was worth losing to see him house the last bit of his cheesesteak.
Posted by Ferry at 2:47 PM in Nom Nom Nom | Link
Jan 09, 2008
It's official! We're LIVE
Things will be different around the internet, now that the Giraffe is in the mix. It will no longer be called "surfing the internet", but rather, "grazing the safari". Giraffe's are really the ones that created the internet, but the sold it to the US Government for a more peaceful lifestyle. Now that us Giraffe's see the true potential of the internet, we propose ...
Posted by Haveboard at 1:48 PM in Awesome, Giraffe | Link